Sunday 29th January- We arrive in Puerto Montt

Again it was quite bumpy last night but somehow we got through it, the trouble is smaller ships goo to more interesting places thn the very large ones which barge their way through the sea.

I forgot to mention yesterday that Puerto Chacabuco was a place where only the salmon fish farms workers live on their metal houses and so not a tourist place at all.

Opening the curtains at 0800 showed the pouring rain and we felt soryy for the passengers who had booked all sorts of day trips. So as it was raining Jennifer caught up with the washing whilst the ship was quiet.

By 11.30 as we left the ship and took the tender to the dock and we had noticed their were three other ships in town. The dock area was a little run down and as we walked along the streets to the centre of town the pavements began to improve. There was a new bus terminal, in fact not quite finished, and the roads surrounding were more like gravel than tarmac.

Being Sunday pretty much all of the shops were shut, which is a shame, although we did notice the odd shop being open and of course the McDonalds was open.

We were also looking for place to do some internet work and eventually found one open restaurant and we thought we would get a coffee. The barman who spoke pigeon English said we can have

Chicken,Beef, Sausage, Cheese,Chips, Tomatoes etc etc

coffee but the machine is not very good and so we changed to beer. Apparently they also made their own beer and he gave us a sample which was quite good really.

By about 1.30 pm ther place was beginning to fill up and so we deceided to stay for lunch and the menu was the usual Hot Dogs and Burgers plus some local stuff including the Chefs special which he recommended. So we ordered two and he said no and that one dish was enough. Eventually it arrived on a place about 12 x 8 inches and piled at least 8 inches high containing everything you can imagine. The base was made out of chips and covered with cheese and on top was beef and chicken and sausage, gherkins, carrots and others that I cannot remember. I did take a photo and will upload when we get a good interenet connection in Valparaiso on Tuesday.

We wandered back to the ship and Jen did some reading and Noel watched a film and then when getting ready for dinner noticed that the shower thermostat seems not to be working and although there was hot water ion the sink and bath the shower was luke warm.

Its dressy up night tonight so dusted down the tuxedo and went to the Captains goodbye to the passengers evening do for about an hour and had a couple of Kir Royal’s and some tit bits.

Sophisticated Electrical Systems in Chile

We had dinner in our usual place and met a nice American couple who very nice, he had worked for the FBI and he had retried some years ago but had tried cruises on cargo ships which sound actually quite good.

Very few people (men) dress in a dinner suit and most seem to flout the rules

on wearing a suit and tie as an alternative. I bet this would not happen on the P & O where a flogging would and should take place.

We spent the final part of the evening at the show and the singers and dancers were excellent, even the Philippine support band is very good.

Tomorrow we have to collect our passports and start packing our cases in readiness for Tuesday as bags will be collected between 6-11 pm to get them ready for offloading. That’s seems a long time but when you see how many bags people bring for two weeks it’s incredible.

And so to bed with ship bouncing around in the swell, can’t have sex in case you fall off and break something!!

Saturday 28th January- We arrive in Puerto Chacabuco-Chile

Having threaded our way through the islands at night on the inland waterway, and the journey did get a lot smoother around midnight, we arrived at 0800 at Puerto Chacabuco.

We were booked on a trip to see the ‘Natural wonders of Patagonia’ which required us to get up at the unearthly hour of 0640 to enable us to have time to get breakfast and then ready for the tender at 0800 ish.

So the breakfast room was quite busy when we got there around 0705 and the about an hour later we were on the tender to the shore. We are parked in a beautiful fjord with the mountains towering over the ship and it was grey with the sun starting to work its way through.

Patagonian BBQ lamb

We boarded the bus for the twenty minute drove to the Nationals Park and then wandered through quietly, all 100 of us looking at the trees and plant life until we came to a waterfall which was quite attractive. From there we returned and climbed a reasonably steep hill so that we could see the lake then went inside the building for light refreshments and watched some local dancing where the men wear spurs on their shoes no doubt to prod the wife etc. The local Chilean wine was quite good and so when we returned to the ship around 1200 we spent a little while ‘up top’ admiring the views before heading to the restaurant for a light lunch which we took outside with further testing of the grape.

As it had been an early morning we went back for an afternoon sleep before having dinner and then heading for the Panorama bar for a nightcap and watched the rain pour down as the mountains and islands slid by. Let’s hope the Captain knows where he is going. We did hear that one of their Cape Horn rounding’s was really terrible with the ship all over the place and although the Soujourn made it through two other cruise liners had to turn back.

Tomorrow we arrive in Puerto Montt where we have not booked any tours but will walk the city and try to find a restaurant serving the Patagonian BBQ lamb and also an internet café to update the Blog and photo album and email etc.

Tomorrow night is formal night and so must find some clean knickers somewhere

Friday 27th January- More Chilean Fjords

We awoke to a grey day again which is such a shame as the mountains and islands that we pass by look fantastic.

We had a pretty quiet day on board really just watching the scenery go by but it had been quite rough overnight and so neither of us slept to well.

We did our usual afternoon walk but had to be careful as the ship was moving around quite a bit and as the walking track is on the 9^th deck it is moving both front to back and side to side and with the strong wind blowing can be a challenging time.

This ship is what they say “all inclusive” which includes all your food and of course booze but no the internet or spa treatments.  You could eat yourself silly if you wished and I did wonder how they would handle the free booze as I felt they might restrict it  bit but no, the wine glasses are constantly topped up before they get empty and if you have a brandy or similar the same applies. I talked to our suite stewardess about her life on board and they are very happy with their accommodation and facilities and they find they are well managed and so all the crew work extremely well and very cheerfully. I understand that there is a long waiting list to be Seaborne staff of up to five months.

We had a good dinner last night and it was ‘Thai’ and very good it was too with  and supported by a Uruguayan  white wine which was really excellent considering that neither of us knew that they made wine. It still is a bit rough as we go to bed but during the night it should get smoother and we hope this is true as we have an early morning.

Wednesday 25th January- Punta Arenas- Chile

We parked in the port alongside all the containers and trucks and we had a late’ish breakfast and by this time many people had left for their day long tours, none of which we fancied.

We took the shuttle bus in to town and perhaps should not have bothered as there is really nothing here of interest unless you like a museum and graveyard. On the bus going in to town the female tourist guide explained a little about the city and its highlights such as the two museums and the Cemetery and without realising I was being so loud and thinking that I was only talking to Jennifer I said “It’s a bit early for that” at which all the coach passenger all started laughing. Needless to say the major said I should be quiet.

The town is nothing to speak of and we wandered around the shopping area and noticed a very large number of stray dogs sleeping all over the place and generally all the buildings were pretty much run down although there had been some recent new building and repairs to government properties.

We stopped in a little old family run coffee shop for a drink and Noel ended up with a Iced coffee which was a translation mistake as it was vanilla ice-cream with a coffee poured over the top and covered with cream. Not quite was expected but OK.

With nothing more to see we caught the shuttle bus back to the ship and had a sandwich in the lounge and then Noel did photos and blogging whilst Jennifer the washing. 

We were due to leave Port around 7.30 pm but at 6pm the Captain announced that a group of passengers who were on a flight to and from The Antarctic had been delayed by fog and were unlikely to arrive back before midnight and as another cruise ship was arriving and they only have one dock we would have to move out at 7.30 and anchor to await the passengers, who actually made it back slightly earlier and the ship finally departed around 11pm.

The Captain said it would be rough overnight and it was with strong winds and mediocre seas.

Tuesday 24th January- Cape Horn me hearties

The Captain saidn it would get rough in the night as we approached Cape Horn which we would eventually pass by at 0630 is you want to get up in the middle of the night to see a rock.

We were not planning to get up but he was right about the weather as the wind screamed by outside the window and spray from the front of the ship, about 40 yards away was streaming past our cabin window and so not much sleep for both of us, and may others as well it seems.

Cape Horn is the southernmost headland of the Tierra De Fuego archipelago of Southern Chile and is located on the small Hornos Island. Although not the most southerly point of South America (which are Diego Ramirez Islands) Cape Horns marks the Northern Boundary of the Drake Passage, for many years it was a major milestone on the clipper route, by which sailing ships carried trade around the world.

We did the tradition travel around the Island and so ended up heading back to Ushuaia for a while before heading back to the Beagle Channel.

It was rather grey at first and the ship was lurching a little and after doing a little walk around the ship several times for exercise we headed for a pre-lunch drink to prepare us for the afternoon travel down Glacier Alley as it’s called which was due to start around 4.30 pm.

There are about five big glaciers on this route all named after countries and the first one was Holland and the last was named after the ship discovered them.

As we passed the various glaciers we were given information from one of the British lecturers on board and so we did understand the reasons for them being there. During this time they were also serving hot chocolate as it was quite windy outside and on the front of the ship so you could easily get blown away and so we eventually found a little corner with good views and out of the wind.

As usual we had the pre-dinner glass of Chardonnay in the Panorama bar and tonight we planned dinner in the main restaurant. What the writer of this blog did not know was that the daily menu posting were the daily specials only and there are as many as three times more dishes available at each meal and so Noel choice of restaurant was made for all the wrong reasons. Oh well. We had a lovely dinner with a table for two right by the window as the mountains covered in snow passed by.

We finished with a couple of glasses of a very nice Brandy.

It’s the mad Welshman on again tonight and the word must have gone around, as the place was packed, and he gave yet another strong performance. Apparently he leaves the ship tomorrow.

To finish the evening we went to the Club for a dance and there was hardly anybody there no doubt due to many people taking early tours tomorrow morning.

Finally the place was empty, apart from the band and several waiters, and so Noel approached the band for a special request of his favourite number called “The house of the rising sun” performed by Eric Burdon. At first they did not know it and they asked me to sing a bit which I did as I left the band they suddenly found the melody and called me back on stage and gave me the microphone and I started to sing. Jennifer was horrified and then I could not remember all the words and so I let the stage much to my wife’s relief.

Bed is due as it very late.

Monday 23rd January- Ushuaia

We arrived on time around 0800 and we were having breakfast ready to get off the ship for our tour of the Beagle Channel which is due to last two and a half hours.

It was a nice Catamaran and clean and we went around the small Islands dotted around the Beagle Channel and we saw lots of Cormorants, Steamer Ducks and Sea Lions.

The boat was able to get very close and so we could obtain some good photos of the birds and mammals.

We got back to the dock around two hours later, not the two and a half hours as booked, oh well this is Argentina.

As we arrived back in the harbour the sun started appearing and providing some nice views.

As we left the dock to walk in to town we saw a sign which said that England has illegally occupied the Malvinas ( Falkland Islands to us) since 1833 and that we should hand it back.

The twon was pretty busy as there were actually another ship in at the same time but we wandred around taking photos and then ended up in a internet café where we could update some photos online and get Ms Outlook working for email as it refuses to work with the slow on-board connection.

Jennifer had previously spotted a crab restaurant which we thought we would try but it was closed. As we wanted to try the King Crab which is known to be very good around these parts. We walked back along the main shopping road and looked at another place and decided to try it and inside were not only several passengers from our ship but also some crew as well. All sais the food was good and they were correct as Jennifer had crab parmisan which is really a crab au’gratin and Noel the crab with rice and washed down with an excellent bottle of Malbec.  It was a great meal anmd we started to wonder if would need to eat tonight.

We got back to the port at the prescribed time and found that there must be several local boats leaving at the same time we need to pass through security (which actually was somebody who waived you past the X-ray machine) and it was chaos. We had tied up with several other passengers and then formed a small attack unit and got through the crowds quite quickly in the end.

This is a nice little town on the slopes of mountains and its uphill all the way. There are a number of shops selling duty free. The guide on the boat said that this area was given a tax free status to attract business and the population grew very quciky from 5000 to 60000 which was a slight problems there was limited housing and so people built their own where they felt like it and on the outside of town, she said, is a mess.

A cup of Darjeeling tea in the lounge as we watched the views as we left harbour, and then we did a tour of the kitchens which were huge and extremely well organised. The ENGLISH Executive Chef has 58 staff and they seem to produce just about everything they need. All the meat comes from the USA and so no Argentinian beef, shame, but it was most impressive and Noel would hate to work in their he said.

A quiet night tonight we thought and we shall have room service. Whilst waiting for this Noel had a bath, then slipped down when trying to get out and nearly flooded the ship but as he said it wasn’t his fault the ship moved at the crucial point of his manoeuvre to get out.

Tomorrow is another day at sea as we head towards Punta Arenas in Chile. Whilst crossing the sea border between Argentina and Chile the ship had to stop and float around for about thirty minutes whilst various immigration folks did their thing.

Sunday 22nd January- We are saili’n

We left the Falklands behinds having fully enjoyed our day there and started wondering how we would handle another invasion by Argentina?? To be continued.

Sorry there are no photographs on the blog but the upload speed from the ship would not allow any pictures but I have been able to send them to my Phanfare photo blog, for your reference.

In the morning Noel sorted out his photos and blogged and then we went for a nicer windy 30 minute walk around deck before attending the Destination Lecture which again was most informative and confirmed that our choice of side excursions was correct, mind you they are bloody expensive. There is one where you fly on a private jet down to Antarctica for the day at about £ 3500.00 each and there appears to be many on board who have booked it.

We had lunch on the Patio Deck which was quite empty as most people wanted a much warmer environment. After lunch a nice relaxing chair in the lounge and watched the world go by for a while then a little light zizz before meeting up at the Panorama bar for pre-dinner drinks before Dinner.

Tonight is an Indian buffet and excellent it was with a wide choice of food that you could pick at. Our table was next to ‘Little and Large’ my name for the Welsh Comic and the Large American pianist and we tried a little chat but they were not interested.

Following dinner we went to the Grand Salon for the group of British Singers to perform a medley of tunes from Billy Joel, Elton John and Barry Manilow.

It was a good show and went on till just after 11 pm and so we went back to the suite as we have an early morning tomorrow as we arrive in Ushuaia which is the largest town in the closest to Antarctica which is only 1100 kilometres away.

Saturday 21st January- The BRITISH Falkland Island

We arrived around 08.00 in the morning and by 09.30 the first tenders were on their way in to the harbour about twenty minutes away. We have booked a trip to see the gyuys with little feet wearing formals outfits at midday and so wandered around the town for about one hour and a half.

We came across a couple of guys building a house and started chatting to them about life on the Islands and both were fiercely proud to be British and under no circumstances wanted the be under Argentine rule. I asked them about counter measures during the war but apart from a story about building the flag pole to small for the Argentinian flag there appears to be no attempt to help themselves but wait till Mrs Thatcher came along. There is a road of of course called Thatcher Drive.

The ports from South America have been blocked and so all good come from UK but I am not sure who might be paying the difference in cost, maybe the British Taxpayer. Fuel cost is again half the cost of the UK although food costs are higher.

There are approximately 3000 people living on the Islands with somewhere between 1000 and 3000 troops depending on who you ask. Prince William is due here soon, perhaps may even be here as according to our driver in the afternoon military aircraft activity has increased significantly to prepare for any attempt from Tevez and his mates to invade.

The locals are allowed full access to the military base to visit the Cinema, swimming pools etc

Our trip out to Bluff cove took about 20 minutes in a bus and then we transferred to  4x4 Land Rovers for the next twenty minutes across very rough grounds to the beach to see the Penguins. There were three types of  Penguins, a few King, some Gentoo and a small football team of Megellan  

We stayed about an hour making acquaintance and they smell like hell and have flees and are likely bite you for straying to close.

The weather today has been fantastic with only blue sky and a temperature around 14 degrees centigrade and so we were completely over dressed and kept taking layers of clothing off as it got warmer.

On the beach was a small café where were given free tea and cakes before heading back to town. In the Land Rover on the way back to the rough tracks the driver was listening to talk sport with commentary on the Liverpool game which somehow struck me as being odd when driving over rough ground on a beach 8000 miles from home.

People onbly use 4x4 on these islands as normal cars wont travel off road.

A final walk around town and connected to the internet at the information station and even they were charging £ 1.00 for ten minutes and so we ended up spending £ 3.00 between the two of us for about thirty minutes of very slow connection time compared to my home broadband which is very fast and costs a fiver.  

We arrived back on ship and went for the afternoon tea then retreated for a shower before heading of for a pre-dinner drink   

And then on to some British Food, prawn cocktails and Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding and some Malbec, gosh we Brits know how to live

Friday 20th January-An easy day

A slow’ish morning really with very little planned and after Noel finished the Blog and photos which took a little longer than expected due to half of the instructions on’ How to connect to the web’ were missing and so a good thirty minutes wasted until after talking to reception the problem was resolved.

Why they have to make it so difficult and expensive I can’t imagine but they do.

Jennifer read her book and then Noel went to the Gym for 35 minutes or so.

We had a light lunch on the deck and then in the afternoon we went for a presentation on ‘The Falklands War’ by an ex Diplomat who nowadays would spend his time riding around the world free of charge on ships making presentations. I wanted to ask if I did one on UK airfreight could I have my money back but I don’t think they work this way.

Anyway it was an interesting talk for about an hour and he talked more about the land mines which are still in a lot of places which were put in by the Argentinians once they first took over the islands. They have not been taken out yet just in case the Argentinians decided to come back but somehow I doubt they would use these areas knowing they had put mines there. I would move them discretely.

The speaker made no mention of efforts by the locals to frustrate or kill their captors which surprised me a little.  Anyway we followed this with a cup of tea and then a little rest and then dinner once again in the Colonnade Restaurant where we joined a group of Americans. One couple was deathly quiet whilst the other much more fun, apparently he owns the Super8 motel chain in America, Clearly rubbish motels make money for the owner.

The show tonight was a welsh guy called Kenny Smiles who was actually rather good and made some fun of those sitting in the front seats but they took it all in fun. Anyway a good day and a final drink in the Panorama lounge and then back to the suite.

Thursday 19th January- A day all at sea

Breakfast was in the Collonade restaurant at the back of the ship sitting in the sunshine followed by a walk around the ship.

We both agree that this is a very nice vessel and even though full there are so many places where you can find empty chairs and space and without Muzac.

Tonight is the first formal night and so we both needed to get any clothes ironed which had become creased whilst in a suitcase for seven days and then a light lunch on the Patio Grill.

An afternoon of book reading and relaxing and Jennifer went for a swim and came back a few hours later looking like Robin red breast as she had failed to apply sun cream where she needed. At least we don’t need to turn the cabin lights on anymore.

We attended a presentation of ‘ what to expect’ on our side journey in Falklands etc hosted by the Chilean Travel host and he was excellent and made it very interesting indeed and even saying his own personal views on tours insofar as to say idf you are booked on this trip you would be better off on this other one.

He warned about the land mines still covering certain beaches and areas in the Falkland Islands and so don’t wander away from the main pathways- great.

We planned a pre-dinner drink in the upper front Panorama bar rather than go to the Captains and Crew welcome party and met the couple who had previously met in the same hotel as us in Buenos Aires. We discussed many things including politics, travel and also as they live in Austin Texas where we also had some friends it was a good early evening chat. It also came to pass that he opened the Blockbuster Video Rental business which he does not own anymore. 

We had made  our restaurant choice based on the menu and so we did not go to the main restaurant but to the Colonnade where we had a brilliant meal but the pace was empty. So after dinner we wandered down to the restaurant where the Captain and his mates were hosting tables and it was packed and very noisy and we were very glad we had decided to eat elsewhere.

We went to the evening show with a group of four English singers and along with the band they covered tunes form Supertramp, Beatles, Rolling Stones and others for about one hour and it was a nice show.

Final drinks in the Panorama bar where we listened to the smooth singing voice of an excellent piano player.

And so to bed.

Wednesday 18th January- Montevideo Port

Well we arrived at the Port of Montevideo as Noel suffered a bout of ‘ where are the nearest loo’s’ and so instead of touring the town as planned we had a quiet day on board. Needless to say Noel is not a happy teddy at this moment because of this

Problem

So we explored the Ship some more and Jennifer caught up with a few days washing at the on-board Launderette. We checked out the Internet and it is not free and can be very expensive, its USD 10.00 for 60 minutes and it is very slow.

You of course can have 24 hour a day connection for two weeks for a mere USD 400.00. So there won’t be much internet activity on board from the Groves then.

We had a small lunch at the Patio Grill before a restful afternoon watching the Montevideo Tango dancers and singer and it does get boring after a while. Of course at the end of the show they then try to entice the guests to have a go and after watching some real sites we left.

A little light reading then we went up on board to see the Ship leave port and it was very tight and with a 30 knot wind blowing the ship against the harbour wall it did require assistance from a Tug.

It is a pity that we missed the trip in to town, although I had suggested to Jennifer she should up with some others but she decided to stay and keep me company or from jumping of the highest point of the ship.

But I digress, It was noticeable however that many guests returned early to the ship with comments overheard from one person when he said I arrived and looked around for ten minutes and then decided it’s not worth it.

We had an early dinner again on the Patio Grill, yes what again, however in a few days’ time when the temperature drops we won’t be able to use the place to eat. They were serving cowboy steaks and much too large for us though and so Jennifer had the Salmon and Noel the Lamb chops and all very good.

We departed for the Panorama to watch the sunset only after being in the lounge at the other end of the ship and shortly before the sun went down the ship did a radicle change of direction and so hence our move.

Noel tested some Fernet Branca  for the inners and Jen a Benedictine on the rocks, large glasses both of them. We thought  that the comedian was on tonight but we  was wrong and it’s an big fat American piano player who very successfully ruined some of the best of Gershwin and other well-known composers. It was when he decided to sing a rap song that we gave up and left.

Could of have been a better day for reasons mentioned but let’s hope that whatever caused it goes away.

Tuesday 17th January- Tine to board

We had an easy morning slowly getting ready and checked out of our changed room and also they had repaired the air con so it was not leaking all over the floor.

We met an American couple in the Hotel also joining the ship and chatted to them for a time and then Noel watched the Wigan and Manchester City game on TV. We forgot to mention that on the previous day whilst sitting in the garden a tiny humming bird came to the little plants just where we were sitting and about two feet away and it was there for about four minutes and unfortunately the camera was in the room.

The taxi took the 20 minute journey to the port where the smart service kicked in and after checking in and passport control etc we boarded the Seabourne Sojourn and were able to go direct to the suite but the luggage arrived about one hour later and no time for a shower before the muster drill.

After emptying the suitcases we looked around the ship for a while and then went to the ‘sail away’ party for a few glasses and then had dinner in the sun at the Patio Grill.

After dinner we went to the ‘Club’ for a little light dancing and then back to the room quite late. A first impression of the ship which is apparently full is extremely good.

Monday 16th Jan- Impressions of Buenos Aires

Well after a few days around this town I thought we could share some of ouyr views on what this place is all about.

We learnt from our driver to the airport in Iguazu that he and many others were upset that the ‘ruling family’ a husband and wife team have been in power for almost sixteen years and enough is enough and so nobody cares about politics anymore  In other words a dictatorship of sorts.

The streets around Buenos Aires are struggling to cope with the rubbish which is left for the nightly collection and the rule is you put out the rubbish after 9.30 pm but people don’t follow this rule and put it out at any time and with dogs patrolling the streets ansd tearing in to the good smelling bags the rubbish men only take what they can easily lift and the rest stays for years. There are cars dumped on the streets and left to rot, not good unles you want a fiat of 1962 origin left to rot.

We have eaten out at a couple of local ,not tourist places, and find the serving staff have clearly not been employed to take care of the customer but mostly to chat with passing friends and their colleagues walking the floor. At one restaurant we saw a serving lady with two hot plates of food en-route to the customer when she espied some friends, she immediately put the plates down on a serving counter and then spent the next eight minutes or su talking to her chums and then she now takes the semi warm plats to the customer. However we did not find this problem in the tourist restaurants.

There are many shops offering last minute, end of sale, eand of year, for one day only sales of unbelievable prices and only for today that you do wonder.

We have seen dog walker with as many as 25 dogs all peeing and crapping and no attempt to clear it up and so it says a little about pride in the country.

I did question the lady on the front desk of the Hotel and she agreed that lack of pride was a severe problem and hence the rubbish and dog poo everywhere apart from the pavements falling to pieces and holes everywhere.

So impressions of this town are not great which is a shame indeed and we look forward at the end of our trip to meet the manager of my ex company office when perhaps he can enlighten us what is going on.

On the other hand today we found a nice little ice cream parlour which was tucked away and we enjoyed a nice cone of something cold.

Tonight we visited a local restaurant where the staff were slow but when 8pm arrived so did many more staff but asd the tables failed to fill the number of staff reduced badly, sounds a little like M Donalds to me.

Anyway we had a good meal, Jennifer had some really good pork chops and Noel beef tenderloin washed down with a bottle of Cabernet.

We got back to the Hotel and found that the new room we were in where the air condition system had started leaking water all over the floor however their was now a bucket to catch the water, so now we have a small Jakuzi in our room for no extra fee.

Oh well, we join the ship tomorrow mid afternoon with the knowledge of the ship that hit rocks of the Italian coast but this is an AMERICAN ship where this could not possible happen unless of course you happen to be parked in pearl harbour.

And so to bed to wait for the drip, drip plonk sound to start